Thanks for taking time out to read another one of my posts!
So last Sunday was a really big day for me as I went into a big department store and nearly bought myself a foundation! Now I say nearly not because I chickened out from embarrassment but the lady was quite understanding and gave me samples which I could try at home.
So why did I go to a department store and not just order online? Well I've tried to do that loads of times but can never figure out my natural skin tone from a crummy picture on the internet." I've gone through quite a few shades over the years and never seem to get it quite right so I decided to pluck up the courage and get it properly matched by a professional"
I went on a Sunday afternoon when I thought it would be quiet and to be fair it wasn't that busy. "Now despite being in my mail clothes I walked right up to one of the make up counters and explained that I was looking to purchase a foundation for myself." The lady, who was on the mature side, explained that here's wouldn't be suitable as they weren't very thick. To which I thought ok, until she shouted across to a younger lady on another section "have you got any thick foundations, this gentleman is looking for one and its for himself!" I immediately went slightly red and a few people looked at me, however the younger lady quietly stated yes and ushered me to come over. She was a lot more professional and immediately started treating me with respect. Discretely she suggested two shades in one of there mouse forms and dabbed both shades on my hand and they were both a pretty good match. Rather than trying them on me face she gave me a few samples which I could try at home.
"Alas, it worked I finally found my shade and ordered a brand called Leichner in my correct shade that night."
"While I suffered a minor embarrassment it was well worth it because I know my shade and don't have to waste money guessing on what shade I am"
The real answer is absolutely not and even if it did it doesn't matter!
Now whilst I've made light of the topic I appreciate that its quite a serious topic because, before I accepted my crossdressing I asked myself this question many times. I was desperate for an answer and so would explore this topic for hours on the internet and as I read I realized something.
Our sexuality is a part of who we are and whether were gay, straight or bi it doesn't matter. What matters is that we are happy! Now, when I say happy I don't mean running down the street and shouting of the rooftops, but just accepting of who we are. Now believe me it can be a painful and long journey to accept yourself but once you do its the best thing ever.
One thing that's important is to appreciate and remember is that crossdressing is simply the act of wearing clothes of the opposite sex. Therefore, unless women's clothes have some secret pheromone which makes us suddenly fancy the opposite sex the chances are your not gay; and if you are its not the clothes that are turning you gay! What sex we fancy is wired into our brains and its a choice that we make regardless of the clothes we wear.
In fact you'll actually be astonished at the number of heterosexual men who crossdress. Its reckoned that around 1 in a 1000 men crossdress, see this link. Now I'm not sure how accurate the figure is but even so its a lot more common than you think. There's also quite a few celebrities who are fairly open about there crossdressing. Alex Reid who's a cage fighter, looks god awful when dressed though, admits that he has a feminine side. Eddie Izzard is a happily married man who crossdressed whilst performing stand up.
Eddie Izzard
Alex Reid
So remember the act of wearing clothes of the oppisite sex doesn't make you gay! Our sexuality is something completely different.
Today was a massive day for me as I posted my first ever male to female transformation. As promised I'm also going to talk you through the outfit including where I got everything from. Now this first one is going to be quite detailed as I'll be explaining things for the first time. If you want to find out where I got the dress from you can skip to the bottom. So before I delve into it I suggest you check out the You Tube video below;
The make up
I wanted to go for a fairly simple but sexy look and tried to stay away from bold and in your face colours.
Step 1 - Foundation and Prep
This is the most important step so make sure you take your time to get it right. If you don't get this step right its very hard to pull of a convincing overall look. I used to screw this step up a lot!
Before even putting the slightest bit of make up on I make sure that I have a close as possible shave. No matter what product you use your beard will show if you don't spend time having a close shave! Then I moisture the skin to keep it as clean as possible.
Then I use a TV paint stick in 1W, product details here, only on my beard area. This acts as as concealer and the shade is neutral so I can easily blend in my main foundation. You can powder it but I prefer not to because I find it harder to blend in my main foundation. For my main foundation I use Leichner, product details here, in cream of biscuit. This foundation is brilliant for crossdressers. It's quite thick and dense meaning that it covers up a lot of manly features that mainstream women's foundations can't do. Using a cosmetics sponge, blend it all in to create a smooth overall look and even finish.
To seal it all in dab a bit of powder all over. There's tonnes of powders out there and i've used a few over the years, but i've learnt that there all the same whether £3 or £30 so use whatever.
Step 2 - Eyes (My favorite)
First apply a bit of eyeliner. Now I personally use and prefer pencils because I find that there a lot easier and more forgiving than liquid eyeliners. For this look I wanted minimal, so I applied a thin line on my top eye and inner bottom eye. I then smuged it very slightly to give it a more natural look. You can go as thick as you want but for me I felt that this look worked best with minimal eyeliner. I then applied a nice beigy eyeshadow all over my eye lid followed by a nice smokey purple on the lower section, worked a treat. I then finished them of using Maybelline's Falsies Mascara. I love this particular mascara as it really does add a huge amount of volume meaning I can stay away from false lashes. Sorry I just don't like them.
Step 3 - Eyebrows
Eyebrows are a difficult one for me because I don't dress seven days a week I don't want completely feminine eyebrows and there quite bushy. Instead, once a week I shape them using tweezers. Now I only give them a slight curve, but make sure there well groomed and kept tidy. This is because I can pull them up and make them more curved using tape attached to my wig cap. I use a light grey or black Max Factor professional eye brow pencil to color them. I also use the shaping tool to help tidy them up and intensify the curve.
Step 4 - Blusher and Lipstick
Lipstick I find can really intensify a look or ruin a look. It took me years to find my lipsticks that work for me. However I found that I can use any color as long its on the darker side. Now I as I was going for a fairly natural look I used one of Max Factors medium brown shades which worked really well. Blusher for me isn't that important so I dab a bit on last thing. In this case I used a medium shade by Barry M.
Step 5 - Nails
I always do my nails last because I get make up on them and tend to damage the finish quite easy when getting ready. So for this look. I decided to go for something that was a bit glamorous and had that red carpet feel to it. So I used Chanpneys nail varnish in "bling" which I got as part of a set.
The Outfit
I absaluetley love this outfit and its one of my favorite little black dresses. It's a mid Lace Bodycon dress from ASOS. I'm also wearing a pair of 4 inch black leather pumps from Alternative Footwear.
Well that's the outfit for this week. Next week I'll be going for a simple 90's look, so thank you for reading and any comments or suggestions are more than welcome!
We all have urges, desires and needs in this world and controlling them is not easy especially when it's something that society isn't fully accepting and tolerant of. I for one am no saint when it comes to controlling my urges, however being able to overcome and control them only makes you stronger. Why am I telling you this?
It's 2014 and I've finally realised that my crossdressing is not going to go away because it's not an urge or a desire; crossdressing is part of me and always will be. Therefore after years of inner torment and anguish I have finally embraced and accepted it. 2014 is the year I focus on my career, body, relationships and inner happiness. Over the years I have set up a few business ventures and non of them ever made me any money because I always let other commitments get in the way, meaning I never saw them through. No more, all my energy is going into developing my career and embracing Stefanie. It's not going to be easy and that's why I am asking you to follow me on this journey and see Stefanie and my career grow together.
Through this blog and YouTube watch me as I tone my body trying to achieve a catwalk models figure; try and learn how to do my make up flawlessly; master the art of walking in heels and put it a all together to present a graceful and sexy young women. My name is Steven, I'm 23 years old and I am a "modern crossdresser."
Why through a blog and YouTube?
The truth is that ever since I said to myself I'm going to embrace Stefanie my life makes sense and i feel that my heart is in the right place. I know that it sounds corny but my hearts only ever been passionate about two things, outside of family and friends, and they are flying and scuba diving. However embracing Stefanie is something I need to do to achieve true happiness in my life. There's just one problem I'm scared. I'm scared of people finding out and rejecting me. I'm scared of putting a YouTube video up and looking silly. I'm scared of it bringing heartache and abuse. I'm scared of going out in public and being laughed at...However through my blog and YouTube you can follow me on this journey. Celebrate the highs with me, support me during the lows and advice me throughout. Thank you In my next post I'll tell you about my early crossdressing years and why it's only now that I've accepted myself for who I am.
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